One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I’d better see a doctor.” “Listen, Bob, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Stan replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you […]
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]
A gorgeous young redhead lady goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. ‘Impossible!’ says the doctor. ‘Show me.’ The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she […]
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s […]
A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the doctor said to engineer, “Man! I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can’t beat that.” The engineer replied, “Okay, […]
Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.” Paddy asked, “And what do I do […]
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into the office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. […]
The city miser was on his death bed and his last request was to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest. “I know I am going to die” he said ”and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you […]
A doctor and a lawyer were both at a reception. The lawyer noticed that people were constantly coming over to the doctor. “Why are so many people coming over to you?” asked the lawyer. “It’s terrible,” sighed the doctor, “ever since I became a doctor I don’t have a moment’s peace, people are constantly coming […]
Sam goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup. “Everything is fine”, said the doctor, “You’re doing OK for your age.” “For my age?” questioned Sam, “I’m only 75, do you think I’ll make it to 80?” “Well” said the doctor, “do you drink or smoke?” “No,” Sam replied. “Do you eat fatty meat or […]
All of the relatives gathered together in the hospital waiting room tensely waiting the Doctor’s report. Finally after what seemed like hours the Doctor finally came out. “Well” he said “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I am afraid his brain doesn’t work anymore, but the good news is that […]
A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is […]
