A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly […]
The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3AM, a bit loaded, I headed home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in […]
There was a lady in her 90s who became a sort of local celebrity because she had recently gotten married. The local news station decided to interview her. The interviewer asked questions like how it was to be a newlywed in her 90s. “This isn’t my first husband, so it’s not much different than the […]
A young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, “Come on in.” When they […]
A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED!MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70’s),MUST NOT BEAT ME,MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she […]
Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go […]
After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into the office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. […]
A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife’s obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: “Do you love math more than me?” “Of course not, dear – I love you much more!” Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: “Well, then prove it!” Pondering a bit, she responds: […]
After sending our son away to college, he would often [too often] call up asking for money. One time when he called, my husband answered, “sure we will send you money” he said, “and I also noticed that you left your Physics book here, should we send that also?” “Uh, oh yeah, OK,” he responded. […]
“Harry,” whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. “What should I do?! I’m not ready for old age! I’m only 40 years old but I look and feel like I’m over 55! My face is all wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out.” “Well,” said Harry after looking […]
Like most women, Sandy loves going shopping, much to her husbands chagrin. “Here, take a look at this”, says her husband Tom, shoving the credit card statement in front of her. You spent $250 at Macy’s, $150 at Nordstrom, $122 at Lord and Taylor, and another $225 at JC Penny. How in the world do […]
So it was Jim’s first time leaving Europe, he was excited about visiting America and expanding his horizons. “Excuse me”, said a woman to him at the airport. “Do you happen to be traveling to America?” “As a matter of fact I am” responded Jim. “Do me a favor, my husband left to America 2 […]
