After a meeting several days ago, I couldn’t find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal and vigorous pat down. They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys […]
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that […]
Woman 1: “I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??” Woman 2: “It was a disaster… My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep… How was yours… ??” Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner… After dinner […]
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.” The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. […]
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks […]
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and […]
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, “You are in charge of cooking around here and you […]
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams […]
A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the […]
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. You think “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a movie. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. You ever […]
After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi-million dollar home and, since the man’s lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave Edith, his now ex-wife, just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day […]
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes […]
