After a meeting several days ago, I couldn’t find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal and vigorous pat down. They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys […]
Be careful what you wear (or don’t wear), when working under your vehicle… especially in public. From the Morning Herald, Sydney Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on […]
Woman 1: “I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??” Woman 2: “It was a disaster… My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep… How was yours… ??” Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner… After dinner […]
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine […]
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks […]
“I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth you will enter heaven, but if you lie … hell is waiting for you,” God told them. To the first man God asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The first man replied, “I was a good husband. […]
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams […]
Lawyers should never ask a Grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial in Mississippi, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand… a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, […]
Little Johnny went to Sunday school one Sunday. The lesson for the day was from Genesis. “God opened up Adam’s side, took a rib from him, and created Eve from it,” was what really struck Johnny. Later, that afternoon, Johnny started feeling sick, and his side began to hurt. He layed down on the couch, […]
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes […]
Norman is 89 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement over 20 years ago. One day he arrives home upset. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad that once I hit the ball I can’t see where the dang thing goes.” His wife sympathizes […]
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150.” The man thought about it and decided he would […]
