Two women were playing golf one sunny morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole. Indeed the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch and fell to the […]
Two farmers, John and Henry, were sitting around talking about their day when John notices a pig with a wooden leg hobbling across the front yard. He turned to his friend and asks, “Henry, why does that pig have a wooden leg?” “Well, John, that pig…,” his eyes mist up, “That pig’s mighty special! […]
During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “It’s simple actually,” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a Teacup and a Bucket to the patient. We ask him or her […]
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there […]
An 86 year-old man is out fishing. He was sitting in his boat when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up!” He looked around and did not see any one. He thought he was dreaming until he heard the voice again. “Pick me up.” The old man looked in the water and there, floating […]
A strong young man at a site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your […]
A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they called him, and he agreed […]
A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150.” The man thought about it and decided he would […]
A biker was riding along the beach when suddenly the sky formed clouds above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “You have been very faithful to me, so I will grant you one wish.” Stunned and confused, the biker pulled over, looked up, and said, “Build me a bridge to Hawaii […]
The trooper laughed a little to himself. “Mam’, this is Highway 19. That is not the speed limit, but simply the name of this highway.” Very emberrassed, the elderly driver grinned and thanked the trooper over and over for informing her of the mistake. “But before I let you go, I have to ask… are […]
A young blonde was on vacation in the swamps of Louisiana. She really wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes to bring back for her boyfriend but didn’t want to pay the high prices the local stores were charging. After becoming very frustrated with the local shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “I’ll just go out and […]
Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off. Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark […]
