Category: Church Jokes

Priest and young lady at airport
July 15, 2014

Priest and young lady at airport

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” He replied, “Of course. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid […]

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The lost bible short story
July 10, 2014

The lost bible short story

  The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a goose walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the goose’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s […]

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God asked Adam
July 10, 2014

God asked Adam

  God asked Adam, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. So, God said he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, “This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she’ll wash it for you. She […]

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A dying man
July 10, 2014

A dying man

Lying in the hospital bed, a dying man began to flail about and make motions as if he would like to speak. The priest, keeping watch at the side of his bed, leaned quietly over and asked, “Do you have something you would like to say?” The man nodded to the affirmative, and the priest […]

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How to stop a church gossip
July 10, 2014

How to stop a church gossip

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she […]

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Three men died in a car accident and met God in heaven.
July 10, 2014

Three men died in a car accident and met God in heaven.

  “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth you will enter heaven, but if you lie … hell is waiting for you,” God told them. To the first man God asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The first man replied, “I was a good husband. […]

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SCIENTOLOGY VS. GOD
July 10, 2014

SCIENTOLOGY VS. GOD

  God is sitting in heaven when a scientist says to Him… “God, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing – in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning.” “Oh, is that so? Tell Me,” replies God. “Well,” says […]

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April Fools
July 10, 2014

April Fools

  An atheist created a case in court against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. […]

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Not Afraid
July 10, 2014

Not Afraid

A few minutes before the church services started, the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church […]

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Johnny’s Dust
July 10, 2014

Johnny’s Dust

  After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree, and the pastor greets the family. “Pastor,” Johnny says, “I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust.” “That’s right, Johnny, I did,” he says. “And I heard you say that when […]

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“They’re Carol’s.”
July 10, 2014

“They’re Carol’s.”

  Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.” The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It […]

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Drunken Man
July 10, 2014

Drunken Man

  A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk […]

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