Category: Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer at the United Way Office
July 10, 2014

Lawyer at the United Way Office

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like […]

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When Grandma Goes To Court… Look Out!
July 10, 2014

When Grandma Goes To Court… Look Out!

Lawyers should never ask a Grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial in Mississippi, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand… a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, […]

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The intelligence game
July 9, 2014

The intelligence game

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him […]

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An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell
July 9, 2014

An Engineer accidentally goes to Hell

An Engineer dies and goes to hell. He’s hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he unjams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was […]

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Creative Lawyer
July 9, 2014

Creative Lawyer

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge […]

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A Lawyer Spots Two Men Eating Grass On The Side Of The Road
July 9, 2014

A Lawyer Spots Two Men Eating Grass On The Side Of The Road

A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat […]

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Deaf Mafia Bookkeeper
July 9, 2014

Deaf Mafia Bookkeeper

A mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper of 20 years, Guido, has cheated him out of $10 million. Guido is deaf which is why he got the job in the first place. The Godfather assumed that since Guido could not hear anything, he could never testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront […]

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A Truck Driver’s Duty
July 9, 2014

A Truck Driver’s Duty

A truck driver was heading down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. Feeling it was his duty, he stopped to give the priest a ride. A short time later, he saw a lawyer with a briefcase on the side of the road and aimed his truck at him. […]

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A Lawyer Just Bought A New Sports Car
July 9, 2014

A Lawyer Just Bought A New Sports Car

One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that […]

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Lawyer on an airplane
July 9, 2014

Lawyer on an airplane

There was a blonde who found her sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him […]

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Lawyers Lie
July 8, 2014

Lawyers Lie

A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving the lawyer started protesting that it’s way to early for him to day, for he was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The listening angel agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and agreed to look into it. After a […]

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The Appeal
July 8, 2014

The Appeal

It was a Tuesday when the judge passed a verdict against a certain lawyer’s client. On Wednesday the lawyer rushed into the judges chambers. ”Your honor I just found out new information and I would like to file an appeal.” “What did you find out?”, asked the judge. After a few moments of silence the […]

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