A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: “Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?” “It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old.” “How can you know that with such precision?!” “Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists […]
A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: “Please, help me!” They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass. “Please, help me!” the frog repeats. “I’m not really a frog: I’m an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and […]
A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains […]
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his […]
One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive. She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car. After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so […]
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going […]
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave […]
The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus. The father, though late for work himself, had to drive her. Since he did not know the way, he said that she would have to direct him to the school. They rode several blocks before she told him to turn […]
There was a blonde who found her sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him […]
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got […]
In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Finally, […]
Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, “Jeez, I’d really like to dance with that girl.” The other man replies, “Well go ahead and […]
