The class teacher asks students to name an animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.” Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.” The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal […]
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?” The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and arent’s discouraged.” […]
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: “Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, Physiology?” The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: “What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.” After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, […]
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar […]
A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note […]
A married couple was in a terrible accident and the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor […]
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles and he will stop snoring. “Yeah, right,” she says. A few minutes after going to bed, the dog […]
A young lawyer died and was brought to heaven. Upon arriving the lawyer started protesting that it’s way to early for him to day, for he was only 32 years old, and there must be some mistake. The listening angel agreed that perhaps it was a mistake and agreed to look into it. After a […]
It was a Tuesday when the judge passed a verdict against a certain lawyer’s client. On Wednesday the lawyer rushed into the judges chambers. ”Your honor I just found out new information and I would like to file an appeal.” “What did you find out?”, asked the judge. After a few moments of silence the […]
The city miser was on his death bed and his last request was to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest. “I know I am going to die” he said ”and I would like to take my money with me, so I am going to give each of you $150,000 and I want you […]
A doctor and a lawyer were both at a reception. The lawyer noticed that people were constantly coming over to the doctor. “Why are so many people coming over to you?” asked the lawyer. “It’s terrible,” sighed the doctor, “ever since I became a doctor I don’t have a moment’s peace, people are constantly coming […]
As a professional photographer, Judy takes a lot of pride in her pictures. Wherever she goes, she brings her pictures with her, to show off her work. “Wow”, said her host Sandra, “these are really nice pictures, you must have a great camera.” Fuming mad at the implication that her whole talent came from her […]
