After recess, the first grade teacher announced “I am going to go around the room and ask you what you did during recess. If you can write what you did on the board, you’ll get a lollipop.” The first girl asked was Jessica: “Jessica what did you do during recess?” “I played in the sand […]
Dan hated dogs, he hated them with a passion. One morning Dan was driving his car down a busy street when to his surprise he saw ahead of him a fellow running full force with 2 big dogs after him. “I’ve just got to save this guy”, thought Dan, and with that he quickly sped […]
All of the relatives gathered together in the hospital waiting room tensely waiting the Doctor’s report. Finally after what seemed like hours the Doctor finally came out. “Well” he said “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I am afraid his brain doesn’t work anymore, but the good news is that […]
Two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said, “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first […]
A couple had their first baby. After a week or so the mother thought she could use a break and went shopping leaving the little baby with the proud father. It was only a short while before the baby started to cry. The perplexed father tried all of the tricks that he remembered his wife […]
A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is […]
I was looking for a pet sitter for my pet sitter, for I was going out of town. After explaining all the work the job entailed to my neighbors 9 year old son. I asked, “so how much is the job worth to you?” After a moments thought, he responded, “I’ll give you one dollar.”
I was eagerly drinking in the attention in my grandson’s second grade class telling them what it was like to be a Navy Seal. My bubble was soon burst when I asked if there are any questions. “So” questioned one girl, “can you balance a ball on your nose?”
“Are you the tooth fairy?” my seven year old asked, after yet another tooth fell out. Very impressed that she picked up on this, I assured her that I am in fact the tooth fairy. My bubble was burst a few minutes later, when after thinking for a few seconds she asked, “how do you […]
Trying to be a good dad and spend some time with my son, I used to pretend we were boxing. I would get into a fighter stance and jab with both of my fists saying one-two one-two. That all came to a rather abrupt end, when one day his teacher was handing something out to […]
I was at a magic show, when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, “wow, how did you do that.” I would tell you”, answered the magician predictably, “but then I’d have to kill you.” After a moments pause the same voice screamed out “can you tell my mother in law?”
So David is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Mother”, he said, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. “It’s that one”, said […]
