A man gathered all of his children together and said “Children when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him, now answer me honestly, who knocked down the outhouse? Finally the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a lashing he wouldn’t soon forget. […]
A couple walked into a cheap looking restaurant. As they were about to sit down they noticed there were crumbs on the seat, after cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table they sat down. A waitress came over asking them what they wanted, “I’ll just take a coffee” said the man, “me too” […]
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband […]
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then […]
Recently divorced, I moved back to my home town hoping to start over again. A few weeks later, while making a dentist appointment, I was surprised to see I recognized the dentist’s name as a good looking boy from my high school 20 years ago. However, upon walking into the dentist’s office, I quickly realized […]
Like most women, Sandy loves going shopping, much to her husbands chagrin. “Here, take a look at this”, says her husband Tom, shoving the credit card statement in front of her. “You spent $250 at Macy’s, $150 at Nordstrom, $122 at Lord and Taylor, and another $225 at JC Penny. How in the world do […]
Jeff was fast asleep in his at bed at 3:00 AM when he heard an urgent knocking at the door. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he made his way to the door. “Can you give me a push?” asked the man at the door. Jeff looked at the man, thinking he looked a […]
Mrs. Green lived in a two storey house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous. “John”, she called to her son “do me a favor and go find out how old Mrs. Robinson is.” So six year old John went down the stairs […]
It was Timmy’s 5th birthday and he was joyfully opening all the presents he received. He saved the biggest for last, so it took a while until he got to opening Grandma’s present. “Wow” Timmy exclaimed in delight, upon seeing the mini drum set that his Grandmother got for him. “Thanks Grandma this is just […]
John angrily looked at the text he had just received from his Mom. It read: “Professor called to say you failed the course. LOL. Mom. ”How could he have failed?! … And all his Mom has to say is that she’s Laughing Out Loud?! Fed up, he texted his Mom: “What was up with the […]
It was a bitter divorce; after four years of marriage and two children it was over. Sam showed up in court together with his ex to see what the verdict would be. Finally after a long court case the verdict was decided. “Ok”, said the judge, turning to Sam, “I am rewarding your ex-wife Ann […]
Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse you’re looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream heyhey and the way […]
