A man owned a small ranch near Sheridan, Wyoming. The Wyoming Labor Department got a tip that he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an investigator out to interview him. “I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the investigator. “Well,” replied the rancher, “there’s […]
Professor of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Professor of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Professor of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Professor of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the […]
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your child’s school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all options before making a selection: To stretch the truth about why your child is absent, Press 1. To make excuses for why your child did not do […]
After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said, “Let me see if I’ve got this right… You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love […]
On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine […]
Supposedly a True Story — Author unknown An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. […]
There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further. As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big […]
A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say “Hallelujah!” and the only way to make the donkey stop, is to say “Amen!” […]
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was shining, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher […]
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy: TEACHER : Tommy, do you see the tree outside? TOMMY : Yes. 
TEACHER : Tommy, do you see the grass outside? TOMMY : Yes. TEACHER : […]
Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad […]
Everything can be filed under ‘miscellaneous.’ Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but […]
