Prior to the invasion of Iraq, the Pentagon announced the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF). These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Texas and West Virginia boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about […]
It seems that a young man volunteered for Navy service during World War II. He had such a high aptitude for aviation that he was sent right to Pensacola, Florida, skipping boot camp. The very first day at Pensacola he solos and is the best flier on the base. All they could do was give […]
God asked Adam, “What’s wrong with you?” Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to. So, God said he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, “This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she’ll wash it for you. She […]
Lying in the hospital bed, a dying man began to flail about and make motions as if he would like to speak. The priest, keeping watch at the side of his bed, leaned quietly over and asked, “Do you have something you would like to say?” The man nodded to the affirmative, and the priest […]
A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks […]
An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her. “I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer. “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken, and it could be dangerous.” “I thank thee,” replied the lady. “I shall […]
A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in. During their small talk, the Navajo woman glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them. “If you’re […]
A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. “You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as […]
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife’s car was open, as was the front door to the […]
An elderly American couple went on holiday to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker explained to the husband that “You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150.” The man thought about it and told him that he […]
Barry returned from a doctor’s visit one day and told his wife that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him. Of course she agreed and they made passionate love. Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realised he now […]
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and […]
