“So, Jimmy”, said Grandpa, as they stood on line at the local grocery store. “What did you learn in school today?” “To tell you the truth”, answered young Jimmy, “I’m not exactly sure”. “My teacher was going on and on about something called ethics, and I still don’t know what she was talking about!” Jimmy […]
A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking about this fantastic restaurant he went to the other night with his wife. “Really?”, one of the men said, what’s it called? After thinking for a few seconds […]
Two oldies got engaged, and as they were strolling down the street excitedly planning there wedding they passed a drugstore. “Excuse me” the man said to the clerk, “Do you sell medicine for memory problems?” “Sure” replied the clerk “all kinds.” “How about for arthritis?” “Yes,” replied the clerk. “Wheelchairs, walkers, adult diapers?” “Yeah,” replied […]
Thinking that the presidential candidate needed to show a more human side of himself, his committee advised him to visit an old age home. Walking into the room of an old man, with the cameras whirring, the nominee was surprised when the old man offered him some peanuts from a bowl on the table. “Thank […]
At the urging of Harry’s wife and doctor, 50 year old Harry finally made it to the gym. After consulting with one of the trainers, Harry decided to try out a steep treadmill. “Ok”, said the trainer “I’m going to set it for ten minutes, if you want to go longer just press start again.” […]
The neighbours thought it was odd, but 93 year old Morton was dating again. One Monday morning Morton woke up with a funny feeling that something important happened last night. It was during breakfast that Morton finally remembered what it was. He had proposed to his date Greta. But what she answered he just couldn’t […]
One day, while strolling down the boardwalk, John bumped into an old friend of his, Rob, from high school. “You look great John, how do you stay looking so young? Why you must be 60 already but you don’t look a day over 40!” Rob exclaimed. “I feel like I’m 40 too!” replied John. “That’s […]
“C’mon Mom you have got to try it” I pleaded to my elderly Mother. I don’t know how my Mother lasted this long without ever using the internet, but enough was enough! I thought. “OK” she said reluctantly settling down by the computer and slowly putting on her reading glasses “what do I do now?” […]
All of the relatives gathered together in the hospital waiting room tensely waiting the Doctor’s report. Finally after what seemed like hours the Doctor finally came out. “Well” he said “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I am afraid his brain doesn’t work anymore, but the good news is that […]
Two ladies came before King Solomon, fighting over a boy. “He’s my son-in law” one said, “No he’s mine” countered the other. After thinking for a few minutes the King finally decided on a ruling. “Bring me my sword and we will cut the boy in half, they will each get half.” “No” the first […]
So David is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Mother”, he said, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. “It’s that one”, said […]
Did you hear the story about the middle aged lady who went to the casino? Sandy went to the casino for the first time and ended up by a table playing roulette. “How does one decide which number to pick?” She wondered aloud. “I picked my age” suggested an older gentleman on her left. So […]
