A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains […]
One day a blonde felt like being a rebel, so she decided that she would drink and drive. She found a cop car in the parking lot of a donut shop, so she started to drive around, circling the cop car. After about 10 minutes of driving round and round she got fed up, so […]
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses.” “We don’t have any,” replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re going […]
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!” Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave […]
A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. “How much for these shoes?” – she asked the store manager. “$200″ – he replied. “That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down?” – the blonde. The store manager said he couldn’t, and got […]
In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Finally, […]
A navy captain is alerted by his First Mate that there is a pirate ship coming towards his position. He asks a sailor to get him his red shirt. The captain was asked, “Why do you need a red shirt?” The Captain replies, “So that when I bleed, you guys don’t notice and arent’s discouraged.” […]
A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor: “Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, Physiology?” The sailor said no to all his questions. Professor: “What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.” After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, […]
A police officer found a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding motorists. One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit, so he investigated and found the problem. A 10 years old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said “Radar […]
As a professional photographer, Judy takes a lot of pride in her pictures. Wherever she goes, she brings her pictures with her, to show off her work. “Wow”, said her host Sandra, “these are really nice pictures, you must have a great camera.” Fuming mad at the implication that her whole talent came from her […]
Sam and Thomas had been business partners for the past 50 years. They were in the wholesale clothing business and lately business was not as glorious as it had been. They had recently bought 400 polka dot dresses and no one seemed the slightest bit interested in them. After holding on to the dresses for […]
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant.”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. All of them board […]
