There were four teenagers who played hooky one morning. Upon coming to class in the afternoon, they reported that their lateness was because their car got a flat tire. That’s fine the teacher said much to the students relief. But there was an oral test this morning which you boys have to make up, so […]
A fellow walked into a bank in New York City asking for a $4,000-dollar loan. “Well, before we lend you the money we are going to need some kind of security” the bank teller said. “No problem” the man responded here are the keys to my car “you’ll see it, it’s a black Porsche parked […]
Two thugs walked into a Mexican bank and demanded that the teller hand over all she had. “No comprendo” (I don’t understand) was her innocent response. Unsure of how to proceed, one of the thugs held out his gun and screamed “anyone hear speak Spanish?” Hesitantly, a young man approached. With his gun to the […]
Two guys were playing golf, one of them was about to swing the golf club when he noticed a funeral procession going by on the street. The man stopped in mid-swing and closed his eyes and said a short prayer. The other man truly inspired, remarked, clearing his throat, “wow that was one of the […]
1. Escalators don’t break down… they just turn into stairs 2. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral. 3. I intend to live forever… or die trying. 4. We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober. 5. A clear conscience is […]
There were four teenagers who played hooky one morning. Upon coming to class in the afternoon, they reported that their lateness was because their car got a flat tire. “That’s fine,” the teacher said much to the students relief. “But there was an oral test this morning which you boys have to make up, so […]
After sending our son away to college, he would often [too often] call up asking for money. One time when he called, my husband answered, “sure we will send you money” he said, “and I also noticed that you left your Physics book here, should we send that also?” “Uh, oh yeah, OK,” he responded. […]
Recently divorced, I moved back to my home town hoping to start over again. A few weeks later, while making a dentist appointment, I was surprised to see that I recognized the dentist’s name as a good looking boy from my high school 20 years ago. However, upon walking into the dentist’s office, I quickly […]
Three men, a Frenchman, an Italian, and a Jew, were condemned to be executed. Their captors told them that they had the right to have a final meal before the execution. They asked the Frenchman what he wanted. “Give me some good French wine and French bread,” he requested. So they gave it to him, […]
After recess, the first grade teacher announced “I am going to go around the room and ask you what you did during recess. If you can write what you did on the board, you’ll get a lollipop.” The first girl asked was Jessica: “Jessica what did you do during recess?” “I played in the sand […]
A blond man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well”, the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing, behind my chair while I was watching TV. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is […]
