Mrs. Green lived in a two story house together with an elderly widow. After not hearing from her for a few days, she got a bit nervous. “John”, she called to her son “do me a favor and go find out how old Mrs. Robinson is.” So six year old John went down the stairs […]
A cop is doing standard patrol when he notices a car swerving all over the road. He quickly turns on his siren and pulls the guy over. “Alright,” says the cop, when the man gets out of the car. “Walk in a straight line.” “I’d be happy to,” says the drunk “just stop moving the […]
So these two roaches, Tom and Oscar, are hanging out next to a dumpster enjoying a snack. “Hey Tom” said Oscar to his friend, “You know that restaurant down the block? I went there yesterday to pick up some scraps, and I couldn’t believe how clean it was, I could practically see my reflection through […]
Frank lived next door to the city crazy house. One day he was happily minding his own business when he heard some chanting coming from next door. “Twenty one, twenty one, twenty one…” After listening for a few minutes curiosity got the better of him and he strolled over to see if he could figure […]
“It was terrible”, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late. “I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.” “Well,” said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, “how in the world […]
The leader of the vegetarian society just couldn’t control himself anymore. He just needed to try some pork, just to see what it tasted like. So one summer day he told his members he was going on a vacation. He packed out of town, and headed to the nearest restaurant. After sitting down, he ordered […]
A cop was hiding in his usual spot when he saw a car speed by at 90 mph. Quickly turning on his sirens, the cop pulled over an old lady. “License and registration please” said the cop in a tough voice. “I’m sorry,” responded the lady, “I forgot to ask him where he keeps his […]
A man died and went up to Heaven. Upon arriving he noticed two signs: one said “Men Who Are Bossed By Their wives,” the other one said “Men Not Bossed By Their Wives.” After closer inspection he noticed that while next to the first sign was a big line, by the second sign there was […]
Harry and Barbara’s marriage has been on the rocks for a while, so when they hear about a marriage seminar being given in their neighborhood, they decide to attend. “One of the most important things in marriage”, said the speaker, “is to get to really know your spouse well. For example,” continued the speaker, “How […]
Harry was finally a groom and was very excited about his upcoming marriage. He was on his way out of the office when his boss came over to him with an outstretched hand, “congratulations Harry, I just wanted to tell you I’ve been married for twenty two years, and I am sure that you will […]
Sam was the owner of a worldwide branch of stores and a multi-millionaire. When his daughter Sandy got engaged to a very religious young man, he called the future Groom into his office. “So tell me,” said Sam, sitting the young man down, “What are your plans for the future?” “Well”, said the Groom, “I […]
