An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s […]
During a visit to the local mental institute, John asked the Director during a tour how to determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “It’s simple actually,” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a Teaspoon, a Teacup and a Bucket to the patient. We ask him or her […]
A strong young man at a site was bragging that he could outdo anyone when it comes to pure strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workers at the job site. After several minutes of ranting, the older worker had had enough. “Why don’t you put your […]
A loving couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were just terrible kids always getting in trouble. Running out of ideas, they decided to look to the church. They heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they called him, and he agreed […]
The trooper laughed a little to himself. “Mam’, this is Highway 19. That is not the speed limit, but simply the name of this highway.” Very emberrassed, the elderly driver grinned and thanked the trooper over and over for informing her of the mistake. “But before I let you go, I have to ask… are […]
Passengers on a small plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff assures them the pilots will be there soon, and then the flight can take off. Finally the entrance opens, and two men dressed in Pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle. Both are wearing dark […]
On his 60th birthday, Jeff bought himself a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. “This is great,” he thought as he roared down the Florida highway. He decided to see how […]
A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly […]
A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the doctor said to engineer, “Man! I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can’t beat that.” The engineer replied, “Okay, […]
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles has passed away.” The distressed woman […]
There were four University sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an A so far. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends and have a big party. They had a great time but, after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and […]
A recently divorced man, heartbroken and down on his luck, comes across a magical genie lamp. Thinking his luck has finally changed, he rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. “I am an all and powerful genie. You get three wishes, but I must tell you in advance, anything you wish for, your ex-wife […]
