An Irishman’s been drinking at a pub all night. When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him […]
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called David, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. David clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?” He replied, “It […]
Four guys have been going to the same Golfing trip to St Andrews for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Jack’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going. Jack’s mates are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do… Two days later, the three […]
A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, the wife didn’t have a good time at the party, so she came […]
Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. “Did you get that for your birthday?” – asked Johnny. “Nope.” – replied Jimmy. “Well, did you get it for Christmas then?” Again Jimmy said “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” – asked Johnny. “No,” said Jimmy. “I went into Mom and Dad’s […]
Santa Claus makes his way down the chimney, and is met by a lovely young woman in a robe. She says, “Santa, how about giving me a special present. I know you’d like to come into my bedroom.” Santa responds, “Ho! Ho! Ho! Gotta go. Gotta go. Gotta deliver all these toys to the […]
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his […]
“Honey!” screamed my husband from our bedroom, “you MUST check this out! “What is it?” I hollered back from the kitchen. “You’re not going to believe what I found when I was drilling a hole through the wall! I found a secret stash of bottles!” Just then I heard my daughters voice hollering from the […]
