A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Navajo woman climbs in. During their small talk, the Navajo woman glances surreptitiously at a brown bag on the front seat between them. “If you’re […]
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: “When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you?” The first guy responds: “I would like to […]
An elderly lady did her shopping and upon returning to her car found four males sitting in the car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will if required… so get out […]
The Sunday School lesson for the first graders was on the plan of salvation. The teacher asked, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?” “No!” all the children answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, […]
One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that […]
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new car for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their […]
A man drives into a gas station. The attendant goes to fill his tank and notices 5 penguins in the back seat. The attendant says, “Hey – why do you have 5 penguins in your car?” The driver says, “I KNOW! I was just stopped at a light back there and they climbed into my […]
Dan hated dogs, he hated them with a passion. One morning Dan was driving his car down a busy street when to his surprise he saw ahead of him a fellow running full force with 2 big dogs after him. “I’ve just got to save this guy”, thought Dan, and with that he quickly sped […]
“Alright! I’ll drive them to the field trip tomorrow,” sighed my neighbour resignedly. Sure enough the next day found her with a van full of 7 to 10 year olds. Clearly distracted, my neighbour cruised right through a stop sign, “Don’t you know how to stop?” Screamed the exasperated crossing guard, running towards the car. […]
My daughter sure showed me what a backseat driver I am! On our way to the mall today, I stopped short at a red light causing the car to jolt. As soon as I jerked my 3 year old in the backseat hollered Daaaaave. Not sure why she had called my husband’s name, I asked […]
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then […]
A cop is doing standard patrol when he notices a car swerving all over the road. He quickly turns on his siren and pulls the guy over. “Alright,” says the cop, when the man gets out of the car. “Walk in a straight line.” “I’d be happy to,” says the drunk “just stop moving the […]
