Tag: wife

Couldn’t find my car keys
July 14, 2015

Couldn’t find my car keys

After a meeting several days ago, I couldn’t find my keys. I quickly gave myself a personal and vigorous pat down. They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys […]

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The Value of Undies
July 12, 2014

The Value of Undies

Be careful what you wear (or don’t wear), when working under your vehicle … especially in public. From the Morning Herald, Sydney Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry […]

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Two Women Chatting in Office
July 11, 2014

Two Women Chatting in Office

Woman 1: “I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??” Woman 2: “It was a disaster… My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep… How was yours… ??” Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner… After dinner […]

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Sex and Good Grammar
July 10, 2014

Sex and Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After being persuaded to go, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine […]

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A husband and wife
July 10, 2014

A husband and wife

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks […]

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Three men died in a car accident and met God in heaven.
July 10, 2014

Three men died in a car accident and met God in heaven.

  “I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth you will enter heaven, but if you lie … hell is waiting for you,” God told them. To the first man God asked, “How many times did you cheat on your wife?” The first man replied, “I was a good husband. […]

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God Loves Drunk People Too
July 10, 2014

God Loves Drunk People Too

  A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams […]

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When Grandma Goes To Court… Look Out!
July 10, 2014

When Grandma Goes To Court… Look Out!

Lawyers should never ask a Grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer. In a trial in Mississippi, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand… a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?” She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, […]

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Little Johnny
July 10, 2014

Little Johnny

Little Johnny went to Sunday school one Sunday. The lesson for the day was from Genesis. “God opened up Adam’s side, took a rib from him, and created Eve from it,” was what really struck Johnny. Later, that afternoon, Johnny started feeling sick, and his side began to hurt. He layed down on the couch, […]

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The Newlywed Couple
July 10, 2014

The Newlywed Couple

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes […]

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I have perfect eyesight
July 10, 2014

I have perfect eyesight

Norman is 89 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement over 20 years ago. One day he arrives home upset. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight is so bad that once I hit the ball I can’t see where the dang thing goes.” His wife sympathizes […]

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Risky Burial
July 9, 2014

Risky Burial

  A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for only $150.” The man thought about it and decided he would […]

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