Air Force Maintenance Reports
The US Air Force must have given up on the Fault Tree Analysis they had developed in 1959.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Problem: Test flight OK, except Autoland very rough.
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Problem: The autopilot doesn’t.
Signed off: IT DOES NOW.
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: IFF inoperative.
Solution: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That’s what they’re there for.
Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Category: Adult Jokes
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