The Purina Diet

July 10, 2014


I was in Wal-Mart one day, buying a large bag of Purina for our dog. While I was in line, to check out, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog… Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby, so on impulse I told her, “No, I’m starting ‘The Purina Diet’ again… although I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time… but I did lose 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.”

Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally believing it. I told her… “It’s an easy, inexpensive diet… and the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.


I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now totally enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy standing behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said, “No… I was just sitting in the street, licking my butt, when a car hit me.”

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

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Category: Animal Jokes