This is from an article in the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday July 22, 1997, about the Dutch firm that has been hired to manage the International Arrivals Building at New York’s John F. Kennedy Airport. The tile under the urinals in the Arrivals Building has that familiar lemony tinge; rubber soles stick to it. Over […]
A dog slipped off his leash one day and went for a walk in the woods. After some time, he met a wolf. The dog said to the wolf, “Brother wolf, you look so thin! How can you be happy when you are so thin? You should come live with me and my master. I […]
1. I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way. 2. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep. 3. Gun wounds again? 4. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin. 5. A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries. 6. Damn, I’ll burn you into a BBQ chicken! 7. Take my advice, or […]
Note: Steven Ward of Brunel University, London, wrote me to say that this is an urban legend. A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this … fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make […]
I was talking to a friend last night who was telling me that he was driving into the city to renew his auto insurance. He was on his cellular phone, trying to get a better deal when a woman opened her car door in his path, and he collided with it. He said you can […]
The US Air Force must have given up on the Fault Tree Analysis they had developed in 1959. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire. Problem: Test flight […]
Try these stress-relieving and fun things to do in an elevator. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and mutter, “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut up!” Crack open your briefcase or purse; while peering inside ask, “Got enough air in there?” Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and […]
Two men were sitting at a bar talking about spaceships. First man: Did you know that my country will launch a spaceship to the sun today, at 12:pm? Second man: No, but that is brainless indeed First man: Why? Second man: If you launch at noon, the sun will burn you to dead. But my […]
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that […]
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, “Hey, bud, this is my car!” “OK,” the […]
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?” God answered, “No, you have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay […]
Woman 1: “I had a fine evening, how was yours.. ??” Woman 2: “It was a disaster… My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep… How was yours… ??” Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner… After dinner […]
