Joe was sitting at a bar. He was totally depressed. The bartender, serving him a drink, asked what was wrong. “I’ll never understand women.” – said Joe. “The other night on my birthday, my wife said as my gift, I could do with her what I wanted.” “Wow! That’s quite some gift.” – said the […]
A duck walks into a bar around lunchtime, sits down and orders a beer and a sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, “Oh my God, a talking duck! What are you doing here?” The duck replies, “I’m dry-walling the building across the street. I’ll be in town for a few days.” The next […]
Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time, and was talking to his friend Bill. Bill: “While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to. When you walk through the front door, you are handed a free drink. Then […]
Two men at a bar had been enjoying a few drinks for the past couple of hours and were pretty drunk when one of them notices a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One says to the other, “Jeez, I’d really like to dance with that girl.” The other man replies, “Well go ahead and […]
A duck walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Do you have any grapes?” “Nope” responded the bartender, “try somewhere else.” The duck walks out and back in: “Do you sell grapes?” “I told you already, I don’t” responded the bartender, “stop bothering me.” The duck walks back out and then back in again. […]
While working the lunch shift at a local restaurant, I watched as an elderly couple ate. It seemed as if the man was the only one eating. First his appetizer, then his main, and then finally his dessert. All the while with his wife just looking on, not even touching her food. Confused, I approached […]
“Hey guys who wants to hear a blonde joke?” Said a blind old man after settling himself down on a stool in the bar. The question was met with dead silent. After a few second pause, the bartender walked up to the blind fella and put his face right up to his nose and said […]
Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar. Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him. “So what would you like?” Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him. “Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, “I […]
A string walks into a bar. “Excuse me,” he asks “can I please have a drink?” “Nope” replies the bartender “we don’t serve strings.” Upset at the racism the string asks a fellow at the bar to buy him a drink. Seeing this the bartender picks him up and throws him out of the bar. […]
A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink. “Sorry,” the bartender says, “but you obviously already had a little too much to drink.” Fuming mad the drunk walks out the front door and walks into the side door. “Can I have a drink please.” “Sorry” the bartender says “but […]
Harry was sick and tired of being constantly badgered by his wife Barbara for spending so much time at the bar. Hoping it would help matters, Harry invited Barbara along with him. “So what would you like?” Harry cordially asked, as she took her seat next to him. “Oh I don’t know” Barbara replied, […]
Mark was passing by the bar on the way home from work when he sees his good friend Tom gulping down one shot after another. Fearing the worst, Mark charged into the bar and confronted Tom. “Tom what’s going on?” Mark asked. “It’s my wife Beckie,” Tom replied. “She ran off with my best friend!” […]
