Category: Family Jokes

Fred and Mary’s Honeymoon
July 9, 2014

Fred and Mary’s Honeymoon

Fred and Mary got married, but can’t afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred’s parent’s home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred’s little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and […]

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My Dad Asked My Younger Sister To Get The Meat Out The Freezer
July 9, 2014

My Dad Asked My Younger Sister To Get The Meat Out The Freezer

Today while making dinner with the entire family, my dad asked my younger sister to get the meat out the freezer above the fridge. My sister opens the fridge and is on her toes to reach the meat. You can hear the determination in her exhales as she tries stretching her body to it’s maximum. […]

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Who Says Men Don’t Remember
July 9, 2014

Who Says Men Don’t Remember

A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed, and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she […]

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The Magic Elevator
July 9, 2014

The Magic Elevator

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, “What’s this, Paw?” The father responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in […]

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Unkind words
July 9, 2014

Unkind words

The young parents were concerned because their son, Jimmy, had begun using unkind words that he learned in school. One day, the mother overheard Jimmy calling his sister a “stupid head.” “Jimmy,” she said. “Your birthday is next week. Your father and I bought five presents for you. From now on, every time you use […]

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21st Birthday family tradition
July 9, 2014

21st Birthday family tradition

Johnny had long heard the stories of an amazing 21st Birthday family tradition. His father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Johnny‘s […]

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Daddy’s tummy gets too big
July 9, 2014

Daddy’s tummy gets too big

One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops. “What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarrassed to tell her little girl about sex so she makes up an […]

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A Rich Woman And Her Butler
July 9, 2014

A Rich Woman And Her Butler

A rich couple was going out for the evening. The lady of the house decided to give the butler, Throckmorton, the night off. She said they would be home very late and he should just enjoy his evening. As it turned out, the wife didn’t have a good time at the party, so she came […]

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The Husband and the Genie
July 9, 2014

The Husband and the Genie

A young couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive course lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee, the wife sliced her shot right through the large front window of the biggest house along the course. They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say, “Come on in.” When they […]

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Husband Wanted
July 9, 2014

Husband Wanted

A lonely woman, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED!MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70’s),MUST NOT BEAT ME,MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME,AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she […]

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Coffee Maker for a Blonde Woman
July 9, 2014

Coffee Maker for a Blonde Woman

Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go […]

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Man In Ecstasy
July 9, 2014

Man In Ecstasy

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forward, then backwards, forward, then backwards again, back and forth, back and forth… in and out… in and out. It was going on for 10 minutes at this point… Her heart was pounding… her face was flushed… then she moaned, […]

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